Christine's Menagerie

Last night I dreamed a few dreams. The last dream I recall was that I was in another State, walking along a deserted street, and saw a kind of low priced clothes store. The place was in some State like Arizona or where ever there aren't very many people living. I think they were Indians. There was a sign on the window saying $8 for really really nice dresses, that looked like they were either rayon or cotton. They were the kind of dresses that I like. There were the long flowery feminine looking styles. The particular one I saw in the window had light blue and cream colored flowered print on it. And a tie to tie it in back. So I went inside and inquired about the dresses. The store was almost empty. And the owner and clerk inside said, in broken English, that yes they did have those in stock, but that we'd have to climb down into the basement and take those dresses out. They hadn't placed them out yet because they were so low on staff. So I and another woman climbed down an almost straight angled ladder, down into the warehouse. Where there were lots and lots of boxes full of new clothes not yet placed on the floor. So as I was down there and pulling boxes up and handing them to the person upstairs, someone ran out and crossed off the $8 and wrote $40. By the time I found the dresses that looked like the one in the window, they'd decided that I'd have to pay more for anything there.

I don't remember how it ended or if I even bought anything. But then I remember walking in another large area where there were other low-priced stores, looking for clothes like those.

I think that the reason that there were Indians in this dream is that lately there have been a lot of programs on the PBS channel about Indians and their plight. It seems the channel's owned by Indians. I've seen several shows about it now. And I don't think it has anything to do with Thanksgiving either.

Yesterday I got a good workout at the gym. I feel a little stiff today. But I seriously have to begin that regime again, of going to the gym.

The only other thing that I did yesterday was cuddle with my bunnies and watch another flick. It was "The Reader". I read that novel years ago. It was a good movie, but the ending was sad. I had Pinkie with me on the bed. But she was hungry I figured out, because she kept nipping me. That's what she does when she's hungry I realized. As soon as I put her into her cage she went for the alfalfa and began gobbling it. Poor little bunny was hungry.

Right now Priti's hopping around the living room loose. She plops down on her tummy to rest. It's the cutest things I've seen ever. I call her "little plopper", because of her plopping over, and her plopping little round poops on the floor all of the time. I totally love that bunny. Right this minute Priti is laying on her tummy with her legs out, looking right at me. As if she's taking a rest from her morning escapades of running around the living room. They both have their own little personalities. And then Nala likes to chase Priti. But the other bunny Pinkie prefers to chase Nala. She follow Nala around the place, hopping right behind her. Sometimes Nala turns around and takes a swipe at her, but she doesn't run away. She just stands there and then steps forward another inch. Nala isn't used to being bothered by a persistent bunny. Pinkie doesn't have a fear of cats.

I made coffee and have no cream or soy milk. I can't stand it when I run out of soy milk and other food. I want to go to the social services office and get some food stamps. But they turned me down months ago. Seriously, what the hell?

I'm going to go over and have another huge Thanksgiving dinner with Bernie at Bethany. Even though I can't stand some of the women who are also there, I don't need to talk to them. I'll just bring some chips and dip and try to hold my tongue. I am sure that I'll have something to write about tomorrow, about tonight. Oh and I told Bernie about the possible interview at the women's shelter. She said it's got lots of children in it, and that I have to put up with kids crying. I won't be liking that at all. But so far the woman hasn't sent me the email she said she'd send me, so maybe they won't.

Today or tomorrow I really want to buy some new fabric for a new pattern I bought. And I so want to do some sewing. For some reason, I loose interest in the garments that I start, sometime after I've started putting them together. It's like I get to the point where I am almost done, and then I find another pattern that I like better.

Well that's all for now. Just me in my little apartment with my bunnies, kitty and t.v. and of course my computer.


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I actually cleaned today. I cleaned some of my apartment. I cleaned the bathroom and did some vacuuming too. For some reason, I always feel as if I accomplished something whenever I clean. It makes me feel good, weird.

I made a trip to Big Lots too. After my brother called and talked with me this morning. I got a new antenna for my t.v. and found some Chantilly perfume and lotion and just had to have that for myself. I saw a few toys I'd love to have too. But I had to put them back.

I put in one of my DVD's, "There Will Be Blood". It's got Daniel Day Lewis as the main actor. So I brought Pinkie into the bedroom with me and put the big blue comfy blanket on the bed. She spent the movie with me, cuddling. She's such a cuddler that bunny. She even made little squeeky noises before she fell asleep, all cute. I've never heard a bunny do that. I petted her a lot, and every time I'd stop petting her for even a second, she'd look at me as if to say "hey". And I'd have to keep my hand on her. She grinds her teeth when she's content. It was funny when Nala came into the bedroom to see what we were doing. She stood in the doorway and mewed a little. Pinkie sat up and looked at her. And the went back to cuddling. And Nala seemed okay with it all, laying down in the doorway until the movie was over.

My mother just called me too. She made a big meal over at her place. My brother and his kids and family went over there and had a dinner. I miss that about my mother, her great cooking.

It was hot today, the weather that is. I even put on my air conditioner for a little while. And I just realized that I'm hungry. I haven't eaten but a salad and some coffee cake today. But I haven't got much food.

I'm thinking about going to Bethany this Saturday for dinner. Since Sharon told me that Bernie is having a Thanksgiving dinner there on Saturday. I'll make something or bring some chips. Ah, now I am craving chips.

Today was a serene feeling day. I got up and took my bunny Pinkie out of her cage and let her run around the living room. Watching bunnies hop and kick their legs out and act so happy and cute is my perfect way to start a day. I think she got a lot of sleep last night. I'm sure they both did last night. She's getting used to being in her cage and fights to get out much less now. Nala played with her too. She seems to be totally unafraid of the cat Nala. It's so funny too.

What do I want to write about today? Let's see, I went to the courthouse and had a list of 14 names to look up. There was this man there who's been there many times before, who talked to me last time I was there. He asked me if I work for someone, and I said yes. I wondered why he asked that. Today he was there again. He talked to me again and I started a conversation with him this time. He wanted to know if I could do the listing for him, of course I said I could. So he gave me his biz card ad I gave him my email and said I'd wait for him to let me know for sure, and that I have an excel sheet to use. I also let him know about that other guy who I met there, the one who works in L.A. courts. This man said he'd be contacting me next week. I hope he does. He asked me how much I charge and I told him I work by the hour. So I added him to my Facebook when I got home and sent him a message. I do hope he gives me work too.

I again went out to Surfside to help Amber with her school essay. Every time I go there, I notice how good it smells, because she lives right on the beach. It smells like ocean air. And the weather wasn't cold either. So we got her essay done in an hour. She's a really nice person too. She cleaned the oil stain off my orange coat that's been there for so long. She said she's good at taking stains out. She has 2 kids. And she paid me enough to get gasoline and have extra leftover to rent to DVD's and to do 2 loads of laundry this weekend. As I was leaving she mentioned that I should come over during the holidays and hang out with her. I said okay. I think it'll be warm too. The summer would be a good time. I guess I feel weird because I'm afraid to make new friends now, after what I've been through. It's like I am afraid that people will see the real me, the critical side of me. Even though she seems very nonjudgmental, I judge myself.

It's now the beginning of my nice 4 day weekend. I'm so looking forward to lots of rest and relaxation.

Oh! also I got a call for an interview on December 2nd, at Laura's House. It's a non-profit domestic violence women's shelter. I'm actually looking forward to the interview. I'm so out of practice. At least I'll be interviewing again. The shelter is in the south county area. And the pay is as much as my last full time job was paying. I can live on that much money. The hours are 3 to 11 p.m.

Alright I'm gonna go and work on my farm in Facebook.

Today was our Thanksgiving dinner at my job. This was the first year I experienced a dinner at this company. I really liked this dinner, actually it was a lunch. The reason I like it so much is that the owner appreciates us all so much. I feel as if I am treated well at this company. I am not treated as I have been at previous higher-paying jobs. The owner actually told us that he really appreciates us all, and feels blessed to be associated with us all. And the dinner was a catered one. He paid for it to be catered by the company who owns the cafe there on the property. And the turkey was good. The potatoes were even better. And the stuffing was perfect. Oh and we had pumpkin pie too.

So I came home and decided to stay home from school tonight. I've only missed one other day in this class. I think we're allowed 3 or 4.

There have been a lot of programs on the cable channel that are about the American Indians and their plight. I remember that when I was a little girl, I loved learning about the Indians and tried as hard as I could to be one, or be like one. I'd ride around with moccasins and bareback on my horses. And I loved my animals and nature, and just being out in the hills with my animals and on a horse. And I read everything that I could find about the Indians and their horsemanship.

I had let Pinkie out of her cage while I was at work today. She came out from under the chair a couple of hours after I got home, and she jumped right back into her cage all by herself. She was hungry and ate. So then I took Priti out and gave her the antibiotic medicine. She takes it now without even getting upset. She seems to like it. And then I let her loose in the living room. I have their cages stacked, one on top of another. Priti is in the new cage on the second level. She seems to like it up there. And Pinkie seems to like Priti's old cage better than the first one that I had her in. And Nala sleeps on top of that cage at night. Priti yawns huge bunny yawns with her mouth wide open. It's so cute the way that I can see her front teeth.

I love my Nala too, so much. She loves to lay in the floor of the bathroom while I get ready in the morning. And she lays flat on her back and looks at me upside-down, with her paws over her head. She's so funny I tell her.

Last night I baked a coffee struesel cake. It's the good kind, that I can't stop eating. I'll have to make it last through the weekend. I'm looking forward to this coming 4 day weekend. And just sewing and sleeping and relaxing. I used to get nervous about 3 day weekends, years ago when I lived by myself. I don't now, I like the long weekends. I guess I'm not lonely any more. And I look forward to rest and being at home here, with my animals.

I did lots of errands and driving around today. First I went to the gym first thing today and got a good hour of exercise. I really really need to get to the gym a lot more. Because the exercise makes me feel 100% better. When I got home, Amber called and rescheduled until Wednesday. It was no problem. Because Linda wanted to give me her four boxes of towels to donate to the animal shelter.

So I went over to Linda's, in her new apartment. Every time I see her she's so stressed out and down on herself. I really expected to see her much much happier now, being in a new place. But she was even worse. I tell her that she has nothing to be worrying about, but she insists she does. I can only stand so much of her and then I have to be on my way. But she actually gave me $20 for the trouble. I was okay with that. And then she wanted to hug me when I left. That was fine too. I guess she needs a friend like me. The boxes had a few nice towels that I kept for myself.

I decided to come home first before going over the the animal shelter, to see if my EDD check was here, and it was. Thank you God. So I deposited it to my credit union. And then made the towel delivery to the pound. There was a woman there giving her cute little dog to the shelter. She looked like a fairly rich woman. It pissed me off. But I didn't say anything to her. I just walked down to the rabbit cages to see all of the soooo cute little rabbits. The 2 gray lop-eared bunnies were gone. But there was a female pretty rabbit who just arrived. She had that super pretty fur that looks kind of like wild gray rabbit fur, she was a few months old. And there were 2 cages of baby rabbits. And the black and white male rabbit was still there. I wanted him. But now I can't take care of the ones that I have now. I'm hoping that someone will adopt him and the others, especially the pretty girl bunny. And there were 3 Nubian goats that were not ready for adoption yet. I wonder how a goat can end up as a stray. If I had a ranch or even a large back yard in that kind of area, I'd adopt them. One of them for sure.

I'm happy now, because Pinkie is laying down in her cage. That means she's getting comfortable in it. Instead of trying to break out of it. And this morning as I was leaving for the gym, little Priti was laying down on the floor, flat on her tummy with her little hind legs splayed out in back of her. She's been eating a little and then running under the couch. I have to put her back into the cage for the night. I want to be able to keep them in their cages at night from now on. I bought them some more pellets today. And I got them new water bottles. And of course I bought Nala some new mousie toys. She jumped up onto the counter and sniffed them all. And then chose a gray one and carried it in her mouth, and then batted it onto the floor. And she's outside now.

Alright I'm home now and feeling so much better than the weekend. I'm seriously wondering why I felt so stressed out on Saturday. It was like my entire weekend went to waste. Because I was too tired to do anything yesterday.

This morning I went into the Catholic church and kneeled down and said a prayer, and also talked to my grandfather, by myself. I miss him so much. And I also went to eat a French dip sandwich at Watsons before coming home.


Tomorrow is the big Thanksgiving dinner at my work. I want to tint my hair tonight.

Proverbs 1, 5: A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.

Today I'm going over to the WISE Place house for a Thanksgiving dinner with the staff and some other people who live there. I'm tired and don't feel like going, but I'm going. I'll write more later.

5:55 p.m.: The dinner was good, and there was lots of it. Lots of good company too. I ate too much but it was so good. And then I had a slice of pumpkin pie.

There was a new resident there, I forget her name, who I was talking with about my bunnies and kitty. I always take out my camera phone and show people the pictures I have saved in it. They're all of Priti and Nala.

I'm so tired now too. And I just vacuumed the living room and used the stain remover on some spots. Nala is laying on the table right here, with her body on the mouse pad. When I came in the door of my place, there was a little flurry of movement where I heard the bunny run behind the couch. I bet she and Nala were playing while I was out. They do that.

This wasn't a very relaxing weekend. But I'll make up for it the next weekend. That'll be a 4 day weekend. I'll be a couch potato. I'll force myself, and be a hermit.

II chronicles 30, 9: For if ye turn again again unto the Lord, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land. For the Lord your god is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.

I haven't had any coffee in a long time, like about 3 months. I bought some yesterday and made myself a pot today this morning. I think it wasn't a good idea.

While I was driving around this morning, doing a few errands, I felt a weird kind of anxious feeling. It stayed with me all day, and got worse as the day wore one. Seriously, I think I need to never drink that again. I thought that the feeling was just because of the impending holidays. But it was because of the coffee. I realized this just now when I came home from babysitting the neighbors son upstairs. I was just doing the dishes and the thought that I was feeling this way was the coffee I had.

What a weird day I've had; first I got upset because Pinkie my new bunny didn't like her cage. She just would rather be out of it and running around the apartment. I was thinking about finding her another home. That was weird. I felt so anxious about it. I was getting into a state of total anxiety.

So then I went to the mailbox and my unemployment check wasn't there. And then I had a full blown anxiety attack. Well not full blown really, just half blown I guess you could say. But there was a check in the mail from my mother. So I called her and thanked her. And told her about my bunny problems. She kinda said that she was surprised that I bought another bunny. Right about that time of the day, Stephen came over and asked me to babysit his son Nate. I said okay. He wanted to go to the wrestling match. So I've been babysitting for a few hours.

This isn't totally out of the norm, but I also went across the street and bought a bottle of champaign and a pack of cigarettes. I haven't felt like smoking in so long. And there I was, smoking and drinking. And all the time, thinking about my bunny Pinkie. Nate wanted to play with the bunny so we came down here and we got Pinkie and brought her upstairs with us. Stephen got back home at about 10:30 or so. And he brought another bottle of Andre champaign home. I had some.

Now I know this isn't all that weird, while reading about this. But for me it was all too weird. Because I started the day feeling so happy and relaxed and serene. And as the day wore on, it got riddled with anxiety, starting with the bunny.

Just now I was unloading the dishwasher and had the realization that it was maybe the coffee, since I haven' had any in so long. And right now I am so tired. I even called the Bethany convent and left a message, asking sister Judith if the nuns who live in the convalescent building want a bunny. As they have one now that is for them to pet.

Pinkie loves to be held and petted. It's all she wants to do. I just brought her home and put her into her new cage and put it into the bedroom, fed her, and she's fine. I decided to do what I did with Priti when I found her last July. That's keeping her in the bedroom.

If this all sounds weird, it is to me too. I just need to go to bed now. And hope that tomorrow is better. And that my EDD check comes on Monday, and have tea tomorrow instead of coffee.

I don't even know why I bought coffee yesterday.